I'm (not) mad

Since I’ve apparently gotten too lazy to update this shit on a timely basis I’m just gonna break down the past few weeks in one fell swoop. Believe me when I say that you haven’t missed much.

TV: Imagine my surprise when, after finishing the second season of “Dexter,” I went to Netflix to start season three and found that every episode had been removed from their streaming library. Showtime has decided to limit the availability of the show in an attempt to drive more viewers to their own services, but oddly the first four seasons are available as through-the-mail DVDs from Netflix.

Unfortunately, the quality of Netflix’s DVDs suck donkey dick. Lisa and I made it though the first episode and a half before the disc crapped out. I cleaned the thing with Windex and still it refused to play. Trying to play the third episode actually made my DVD player walk across the room and hurl itself out the window. I’m not about to buy the complete season at BestBuy and I can assure the suits at Showtime that I will not be adding them to my cable package just to watch one show. So, perhaps, “Dexter,” you and I were never meant to be.

My daughter: She spent the week here at the end of June and I was in a fucking tizzy because she was entirely stand-offish and unpleasant. She didn’t want to do anything but watch TV, and she was very remote and cold to Lisa to boot. It was the sort of proto-teenager churlishness that I wasn’t expecting to arrive for at least another few years. Quite frankly, it bummed me out, mostly because it seemed to come from out of nowhere.

Luckily she seems to have made a full recovery from whatever was ailing her. Mealtimes are once again full of gross fart jokes and non-stop monologues rather than long, diffident silences. She’s back to belting out Britney Spears songs at the top of her lungs during the car ride to get ice cream cones. And best of all she’s warmed back up to Lisa. When we all went to the local pool last weekend she pestered Lisa to play with her almost the entire time.

The Red Sox: I don’t have a good feeling about this team. The hitting has been excellent considering Crawford’s slow start and subsequent injury, and J.D. Drew’s utterly predictable futility. But now the pitching has become a huge concern due to injuries to Buchholtz and Lester (and perhaps Beckett). This team can’t survive for long if Lackey and Miller simply have to be counted on every time out.

The trade deadline is coming up at the end of the month and I don’t like that the only players the Sox have rumored interest in are from the National League. I don’t trust pitchers coming over from the NL due to the crippled lineups they regularly face. You, dear reader, have a very good chance at throwing a quality start against a team like the Houston Astros. And I’m not all that thrilled with the idea of replacing our overpriced broken-down right fielder with someone else’s overpriced broken-down right fielder. To put it in Belichickian terms, it’s not “good value.”

Perhaps there are a few sleepers out there on the trade market that I’m not aware of and all the Beltran talk is just a smoke-screen to distract other teams from the Sox’ true intentions. I hope so. But I also hope Lester and Buchholtz come back soon because this team is toast without them.